The 30-day remedy to everything

I am on my first-ever real diet. This is not a diet to lose weight, however, it´s one to lose addiction. I recently read about Arielle Calderon on Buzzfeed who did a 30-day sugar free diet, and something about it just seemed so refreshing I felt obliged to try it out. Texted the boyfriend to see if he was on board, and to my big surprise and awe, he was. So here we are, Day 1 of the no-sugar diet. And for the first time in quite a while, I felt the urge to blog. Welcome to this edition of my one-month detox.


The background to this decision is rather ironical actually. I´m not big on New Year´s resolutions, but this year I had one that seemed especially important to me – and the reason for that was that it wasn´t based on remorse or deception, neither was it made with a forceful feeling. Due to my feeling so satisfied about having gotten back on track with my health during 2016, I simply promised myself to “keep up the good health work”.

Funny I should have said that, because, you know, then all went to hell.

Ok, I might be exaggerating a bit. But the fact is, I started 2017 feeling addicted to = nothing. No sugar, hardly any coffee, hardly any beer, cooked healthily at home… basically I had achieved a life with no “stimulants”. And it felt great! As the months have gone by, I am still not as crazy as I was, say, a year ago, but I have definitely let myself slip. I have cravings, I overeat, I eat late at night because I´m bored, I drink too much beer, and in general, food is becoming my substitution for not knowing what to do, or to get my nervs down. NOT what I meant by continuing the good health work. So this 30-day thing is more like an extreme situation to get back on track. An intensive detox. A miracle cure against all cravings ever again. That is sort of what I am expecting.

Going shopping I was expecting to be let down by realizing that all that is tasty contains sugar, but instead I was happily surprised to recognize that I still got the hang of the ingredient lists and only a few times did I have to put back products into the shelves. Big win, no doubt. Strolling down the aisles, my head was busy remaking one of the sandwiches that Arielle Calderon had suggested; I was going for apple, ham, cheese and arugula on sugar-free, whole-grain bread. Only to find that the ham department was a total disaster. Seriously. Not one single type of smoked, boiled or however-else treated sandwich ham was free from dextrose or straight-out sugar. However, there´s a silver lining to all desperation, and it turns out that my best sandwich friend for the coming 30 days will be the one and only Mr Parma Ham (I´m pretty sure parma ham is a he). For those of you who are tempted to say that parma has too much salt in it to be healthy, I shall immediately erase you from my life.

So I just came home with 842 pesos worth of fucking everything that is good for you. And here´s the funny thing. I haven´t even started this diet yet, for real.  But there is something about the determination of a fresh start that makes you just want to plunge yourself into the trials and difficulties. Sugar starvation and eternal pain, I embrace you! Just try to beat me down. And so while I unpack all this health godliness I am feeling so good about myself, and so ready, that I totally forget that tonight is not the start of this diet, but it as in fact this morning. And I redeem myself from the fact that within these 12 hours I have already failed epically. The day started well with a fried egg, nopales and two tortillas. The happened Work Lunch, or should I say: exaggerated stuffing with pizza, beer and mezcal. But hey, I´ve always believed in a positive spirit and encouragement for advancement (this is true on an intellectual level, at least). And I´ll stick to the satisfaction of my bags full of greens. I will need to figure out how to tackle work and diet compatibility. I am, actually, sort of, feeling this happening.

Last out, here´s the recipe to my very delicious, health-pretentious dinner sandwich.


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